Spiritual Authority Introduction

What do I feel when I hear the word "authority ?" Am I calm ? What immediately comes to my mind ?
While reading the book Hiding From Love by Dr.John Townsend I learned that it is possible to have a wounded authority muscle. He was referring to the part of ourselves that house feelings which can initiate our actions. The point of the book is to help a person stop hiding from God's love.
At the same time my soul was awakened to the love and forgiveness of God , it was also awakened to His authority. He had the authority to judge me and condemn me but He chose instead to use His authority to say , "I was pardoned."

I have been working at letting God heal my authority muscle. It has been very injured but I believe all things are possible with God. These very words were spoken about Jesus' observation of how a rich man might enter the kingdom of God. Easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. "All things are possible with God."

Having an injured authority muscle has caused me to limp badly in my spiritual walk with God.
I have learned not to talk to people about authority or how to relate to it , because they too, are limping yet seem unawares.

I have begun reading a book titled Spiritual Authority by Watchman Nee. If this man's reputation is correct , he does not limp while walking with God.

I have spent years pondering over the observations of Dr.John Townsend in Hiding From Love . Recently I realised that in order to gain strength and begin to walk correctly I needed some clue as to what was right. I lovingly observe my fellow Christians limping along and know that they only wish , like I, to be better able to walk in the spiritual authority we should have. I say , "lovingly" because I do not feel any different about their spiritual lack than I do about my own.

I have a wounded authority muscle and I am drawn to other wounded souls such as myself. So here we are wounded and walking with God the best we can. Sometimes it kind of looks like a mess to other people , but I know God is looking at us lovingly , glad that we are even up trying to walk with Him.

As I journal about my thoughts from Watchman Nee's book and Dr. John Townsend's book maybe it will provoke thoughts of your own. Please do not try to guide my thoughts to look like yours. I do not journal to convince your thoughts to look like mine. I offer my journal as an obedience to let my light shine before men. You have your own path and need your own light , may you be encouraged to seek for the true light of the gospel by my testimony.